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Thursday, June 30, 2022

A typical request for direction on ham radio (revisited)

I posted this nearly a decade ago, still holds true today...

I have to wonder if this type of conversation happens on your area's repeaters (the exact conversation and names have been altered to protect the guilty):

Ham1: "Hey guys, I'm from out-of-town and need directions to the gas station as I'm on fumes. I'm currently at (any location). Can anyone tell me how best to get there?"

Ham2: "Sure thing, stay on the interstate to the next exit, follow the highway about 3 miles, and then hang a left at the stop light."

Ham3: "Yeah, but if he takes the bypass he'll cut about 7 minutes off his commute, then go to the off-ramp past the "Y", hang a right, and he's there by the Post Office."

Ham4: "Hey everyone, I was just 'copying the mail' and wanted to let you know that the Post Office is now a Dollar General store, and the bypass has construction so (Ham1)'s directions are better, at least until December when they finish the construction."

Ham5: "Hey, I think your radio's got too much static (never mentions who...), you need to boost yer power or move to a better location."

Ham6: "I just checked with Google Maps and it says there's at least 3 stop lights before you get to the Post Office to make the turn."

Ham4: "I just said the Post Office is no longer there, it's a Dollar General!"

Ham5: "I still think needs to move his radio, still a lotta static."

          Ham4: "Who does?"

          Ham5: "Yes." 

Ham3: (After a looooong period of silence) "Didn't (Another ham) used to work for that Post Office branch some years ago?"

Ham6: "No you're thinking of (Yet ANOTHER ham) who worked at the one by the Walmart near downtown."

Ham3: "Well, he worked for that Post Office branch too, didn't he?"

Ham6I dunno about that. What were we talking about again?"

Ham4: "I was trying to tell you that the Post Office is now a Dollar General, and the Walmart is near the mall, not downtown."

Ham5: "Your signal's not getting better try a different radio if you have one."

Ham2 & Ham4: (doubling) "(Callsigns) clear!"

Ham1: (after another long period of silence) "Thanks, guys, but my GPS got me there 5 minutes ago and you all quick-keyed so fast I couldn't get a word in edge-wise, and by the way it's at the 2nd stop light past the McDonald's. There's no Walmart, Dollar General, or Post Office in sight. I think you all are off your rockers. Thanks for the comedy routine, this is (callsign) clear."

Ham5: "I heard that same static on his radio as I did that other station (still never mentions who), and in fact several of you had that noisy signal, so maybe it's the repeater. Can't be my radio."

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